Our season is played in the summer here. The main reason for this is that we would be unable to train in the winter as it gets dark too early, but it is also to avoid the soccer and rugby seasons, during which many of the clubs' grounds would not be available. Including ours.

We play in a pre-season tournament, the ANZAC Cup, around ANZAC Day, and the season kicks off after that. The last few years the format has been to start the weekend after the first May Bank Holiday, and it has been agreed that it will always end with Grand Final day being the Saturday before the Bank Holiday weekend in August. Check the fixtures page for more definite dates as soon as they are available.

In 1999 we started fielding two teams, the Clapham Demons being our second side. And in 2007 a third side joined in as well, the South London Demons. For the first two years Clapham competed in the same league as Wandsworth, but since then there has been a seconds competition in which Clapham plays, and from the outset there was a thirds competition for South London. Generally our teams will play together on the same day.

Also during the season there is the Brit Cup, another one day carnival for our European players.

We actively recruit all year, but obviously the lead-up to the season is the most important time. Anyone is welcome to come down, from the seasoned veteran, to the Aussie guys who love the game but never really played, to the English/Irish/Belgians etc who are keen to be taught the game. We always need European players. Always!

Our pre-season training usually starts in January these days, on occasional Sunday afternoons, becoming more regular towards March. Once the clocks go forward at the end of March we will switch to a Tuesday and Thursday schedule, starting as early as possible, generally trying for 6.30pm, as it still gets dark quickly. Later this relaxes to 7pm. These dates will be published, when decided, in the news section.

We also encourage everyone to have plenty of drinks with us and even those who aren't keen to play are welcome to come down and join in the fun. If you don't know us yet, check for when we're drinking and just turn up and introduce yourself.

Where are you based?

Our home ground is on Clapham Common. Detailed directions are below. It is a full-sized Aussie Rules ground.

When do you play?

Our season runs from late April until early September. We play matches most weekends during the season, with a couple of byes here and there.

Our home games are on Sundays whilst our away matches are on Saturdays.

When and where do you train?

We train on our ground from January until the end of the season. Before the clocks change in March training is on the weekends and details should be on the home page of the website.

Training moves to Tuesday and Thursday evenings once the clocks change at the end of March. It starts at 6.30pm, which can be tricky to make for some people, but it is necessary as it still gets dark fairly early at the start and end of the season. Mid-season this isn’t a problem and the start time will generally be changed to 7pm. But wait for the coach to decide on that one.

How many players do you have/need?

Glad you asked. We have three sides. Wandsworth play in the AFL London Premiership and require 18 players on the field, with a minimum of 9 of those being European.

Clapham play in the AFL London Conference and need 16 players, only 2 of whom need to be European. Generally we play 18 per side in this competition as well, with agreement from our opposition.

And South London play in the Social Division, requiring 12-18 players of any nationality and level of sobriety.

So with 6-man benches we need almost 70 players per weekend, and about 15 European players. Which is why recruiting both Aussies and Euro players is so important to us.

What is the standard like?

Our top players are very good. Generally we have a few guys who have played in the top state leagues, and even occasionally the AFL. Our first team is very competitive and we never miss the finals. We’ve won more flags than anyone.

But don’t be concerned with that if you’re an average or new player. Whilst we always compete to win, we have the seconds side which caters to everyone, and ensures everyone gets a game. And then there's the thirds, but they're just misfits.

Training is also aimed at different levels of player. At some sessions we take our new players aside to teach them key skills such as handballing, kicking, or ruckwork for the taller guys.

Do you have physios?

Yes we do. We employ physios to attend some trainings and all matches.

What does it all cost?

It is probably way too cheap. Subs are around 50 pounds for the year. All you’ll need on top of this are boots and a mouth guard. We supply socks, shorts, and guernseys for the matches. You’ll get a club t-shirt as well.

On top of this you’re a part of an organised social club with functions and trips throughout the year. As well as our two football sides we have about six netball teams.

The only other cost you should consider is health insurance. Obviously Aussie Rules is a contact sport and you are not covered through the club or league. Travel insurance also might preclude contact sports.

What happens on the social side?

We have a pub sponsor, the Alexandra, which is directly outside Clapham Common tube station, next to the Lloyds bank. If you are heading there from the tube, exit the station through the left tunnel and it will be right in front of you. We head there after trainings and matches, as well as for various other parties.

Our major functions throughout the year are the Epsom Derby day out in June, the pre-season and end-of-season trips, and the Vote Count day in September. We also organise an early morning party to watch the AFL Grand Final which tends to result in an all-day drinking marathon.

On top of these are dinners, pub crawls and a quiz night, plus new ideas we’re coming up with all the time. And on the unofficial side, the club is quite large, so there are always birthdays and other such parties going on. It never stops.

Do you really wear those really tight shorts?

Interesting question Sheryl. Not really. Standard shorts nowadays aren’t the really tight ones of the 80s, though they are still quite short, as is practical as you can be tackled by your clothing. Bring your camera.

Can my girlfriend/wife/sister/mum play netball for you?

Yes, they can. They should get in touch through the email link.

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There are several ways to get to the ground.

By Tube
Take the Northern Line down to Clapham Common. Take the right hand exit, walk towards the common (pommie for park) and follow the directions below. As a tube hint for everyone, if you are on a different line to the Northern Line and crossing the Victoria Line before you get to the Northern Line, take the Victoria Line to Stockwell and change there. The Victoria Line is faster and the change at Stockwell is easy.

By Bus
Loads of buses go past Clapham Common tube station, and any bus going there is a good option. All of these will travel alongside the common at some stage as well, so you can definitely find a slightly closer stop than the tube station itself.

By Train
If you are travel on the overland trains, head for Clapham Junction. From the station, exit through the shopping centre onto the main road, turn left, head down to the corner and cross over to the right to the stop outside Debenhams, a large department store. Catch the 35 or 37 from there. A 345 will also do the trick, but doesn't stop at this stop, but from over the road outside Revolutions.
You can also walk from the junction, follow the bus route. It is about a mile.

By Helicopter
Only I am allowed to do this.

Detailed directions from the stations:

Most people will head to the ground from Clapham Common tube station, on the northern line. Exit the station using either exit and head towards the common. This is obvious as it is the big green thing. You basically want to follow the massive main road which the tube station is on, and keep the common on your right. When you see the boating pond it is time to veer into the park.

Cut between the pond and the basketball courts, and when past the courts look into the park for a smallish building and the bandstand, about 300m away. (There are also buildings and a few flats on the park ahead also along the main road, but look to the right of those.) The bandstand is a beatiful structure recently refurbished at a massive cost instead of building us a stand for our spectators.

If you head directly for those, then just before arriving at them you’ll be on our ground, and hopefully faced with a bunch of lads having a kick to kick waiting for training to start.

If you are coming from Clapham South tube, then head along the main road (Clapham Common South Side) until you get to the Windmill pub. Once past that you are looking into the same part of the park as mentioned above and the boating pond is ahead of you. The bandstand is on your left.

From Clapham Junction it is a 15-20 minute walk or a short bus ride. The 35 and 37 leave from outside Debenhams and bring you along the north side of the common. It is fairly hard to know when to get off as the park is quite big. the buses head up the Battersea Rise hill and then follow the common all the way to Clapham Common tube station. You should get off before it gets there. Once the common appears on the right hand side of the road, count four bus stops and get off. The stop is called Cedars Road. Head into the park and look for the bandstand. Our ground is just over the cycle track to the left of the café, which is next to the bandstand.

Walking from Clapham Junction when you get to the top of Battersea Rise and the common starts, basically follow the large path through the common. It cuts through a small wedge of the park and then you cross a road into the main part of the park. Just follow the path all the way to the bandstand and then past the café to the grass on other side.

It's traditional in Aussie Rules to follow a win with a stirring rendition of the club's song. For the benefit of this year's newcomers, the lyrics are below. It is sung to the tune of an American civil war song 'Battle Hymn of the Republic'.

> Down at the Alex there's a mighty football team,
> And we're known as the Demons 'coz we always play it mean,
> We're out there every Saturday defeating all the teams,
> and we'll win the flag this year...

> We're the mighty fighting Demons,
> We're the mighty fighting Demons,
> We're the mighty fighting Demons,
> and we'll win the flag this year...

> Demons, Demons, Demons are we,
> Wandsworth, Wandsworth, Wandsworth are we,
> Whether we win or whether we lose, we always end up on the booze!

> DEMONS